Talked with a friend today. She described how a young cousin of hers, 35 years young, went to a hospital emergency room Memorial Day with symptoms of extremely high blood pressure. The requested diagnostic tests and procedures were expensive; and for various reasons, said individual checked himself out of the hospital, went home, and was dead three hours later. My friend was stoic; she said at the beginning of the story, “he gave up”. It is tragic that we have so debased our health care system that, when faced with myriad “procedures” and high costs, some of us would rather die.
Not an hour later, I heard an excerpt from a podcast, talking about the difference between “giving up”, and here I’m thinking about the first paragraph, and “giving in”. It’s an interesting play on words in that we can use the word “surrender” in either instance. Let’s pause for a moment: what is the first thought you sense when reading or hearing the word “surrender”? Is it a macho-full sense of outrage, of disgust for the mere idea of quitting? Or is it a mild sense of letting go, letting be, kind of a “Goddess’s will be done” feeling?
I remember a Winter Solstice ceremony maybe 12 years ago, when I made a statement that I am conscious of letting go of any expectation that I will see the end result of any of the good work I do in this reality. Some in that circle pushed back, even though we felt like-minded, at this mention of letting go of something so nebulous as “outcome”. Surely, one argued, I must need to be able to judge my work as good or bad, and what better way than by the result? I know meditation teachers who focus on releasing any judgment of the “quality” of today’s practice, and accepting the less-good days as being as valuable as the good. After all, how are we measuring the quality of the session anyway; by length of time, by fewer random thoughts or distractions, or because I feel less pain today in my knees than yesterday?
If surrender is giving up, I can agree that surrender is likely useless. To me it implies no more struggle, no more action, no more participation. However, if surrender means letting go of the need to control energies and powers far beyond a human-scale ability to change, and leads instead to healing the trauma(s) that make most humans give up their spiritual journey, then surrender is likely the way out of our current global predicaments.
Our past has been obliterated or edited so heavily that we can hardly even imagine what it feels like to be so connected, so interwoven with Life itself, that we can ask for an animal to creep out of hiding and let us take it back to our family for our sustenance. I suspect this is part of the resistance to the concept of giving in; that we feel the “sacrifice” is not worth the cost, especially when the cost is my own death. Our small human brains, especially when we equate mind and brain into a “physical” lump of bone-encased electrical and chemical energies, can’t possibly understand everything about the Nature of Life. This does not, however, preclude us from increasing our understanding of reality in small ways; by experience, and by sharing that experience with others.
It is ironic that one of the common “public service announcements” made by a major corporation in America asks the question: “What’s your one thing?” They continue, “When we all do one thing, it makes a difference.” The intention seems to be to greenwash what might otherwise be seen as manufacturing processes that are major contributors to our current predicament(s). The one thing directive is intended as guilt-relief: do something, no matter how small -- then don’t worry ‘cuz it will all work out fine, with no major change to your entitled lifestyle. It is helpful to interrogate this point of view; is it true that we need make no substantive change to the separation and pollution, the exploitation and control, that is the foundation of dominant culture, yet it will all be fine in the end? I argue this can’t be done. The system is rotten to the core, and with every passing day, more of the armored shell falls off and the rot is exposed. Still, it takes a willingness to go inside, using whatever spiritual resources you have in your repertoire, and to investigate what nudges, voices, and synchronicities are attempting to point out: a different and exciting path to wholeness is begging to be manifested.
I have had a lot of “magical” moments in my life, certainly more than many other people. Just as we can’t imagine life without the transportation, medicine, food, and plastic that oil provides, we can’t imagine a future of peace, creativity, unconditional love and spiritual ascendance. We pay lip service to the notion, but the path in that direction is light-less and overgrown. We have no point person returning from recon to tell us what’s beyond the next hill. Each of us explores on our own, and we learn how to give in to what our heart and soul demand; once we are quiet inside and feel the tiny nudges, the subtle impulses. I notice in this paragraph that peace, creativity, unconditional love and spiritual ascendance is opposite [opposed?] to The Only Way We Do Things™. I imagine the point of this writing today is my invitation to give in to our inner guidance, to explicitly let it guide us. This is not surrender as in giving up and leaving this plane of existence by dying inside. It is leaving the plane of existence that is corrupt, unnatural, and evil, and leaving by giving in to the beautiful world our hearts know is possible, by seeking the goodness, truth, and beauty that is abundant in this life for those who have the heart to see. Go Wild.
Thank you so very much for essay, on what is it that gives life meaning, and what are you prepared to do for that. Bless you
I have so much love for you, and I feel a sadness for this man who "gave up" -- this is happening at an increased rate on the planet right now (from the perspective of my eyes, at least) and it is fkng tragic... and yeah, hospitals and "health care" are an absolute joke. i hate going to hospitals. i had to go to one somewhat recently and damn near had a panic attack, if i wouldnt have been in screaming-level pain,, i would not have gone, because it is like a death camp to me. I'd rather go to JAIL than go to a hospital, and i've been to both more than once. but when a soul chooses, a soul chooses, and his chose. I can't say I blame him. But I will stay here with you and continue fighting by way of surrendering to the divine within and all around. love you friend.